The Seventh. A New Year

OK. So. I haven't written anything for, oh, about 7 months. So we begin with the New Year's Resolutions. Make at LEAST one entry a month. Shouldn't be too hard, right? I mean I've already started the first one....

I was reading back over my last year's posts...and I was a little...how would Ralphie say it? Bembarrassed about some of them. The old me would delete them so that no one further than already has could read them and roll their eyes...the new me is going to be a kinder, gentler me who allows me to make the same mistakes as I forgive in others. It's time to start treating me good. To this end I resolve to allow myself to forgive myself things that are bembarrassing, shaming, oopsies, and just plain bad judgement calls, depending, of course, on the fact that I did handle whatever situation I smegged up with the best tools available to me at the time and that I didn't just have a mondo brain fart that rendered me temporarily stupid.

I am going to set myself smaller, more reachable resolutions this year, so that I may fulfill them and not just scream in frustration that I just can't do it , of course I can.

I resolve to work on my novel (a pathetic attempt at a dark vampire book I have been writing, and re-writing, and scrapping, and re-starting, and throwing out for about a decade now), I will set aside at least one day a month with which to bembarrass myself with this undertaking, and I will forgive myself, and beg forgiveness of my absent muse, for the badness of it.) At least it will satisfy the beast inside me which demands writing.

I resolve to lose 15 pounds by June. That may sound simple. And if it does, than you do not know of the other beast inside me which demands chocolate. A LOT of chocolate. Daily. Or I change....and not change nice....not change for the good....Hulk hungry.

I resolve to be thankful for the things I have, and not cry over the things I don't. If I want one of those things bad enough, I will not complain about not having it, but rather endeavor to find a means to the end. What do I have that I am thankful for? Things that other people do not? (not necessarily in this order): I have a home; I have a family (albeit a rapidly diminishing one); I have a successful business; I have my health; I have friends (note to self: reconnect with friends); I have food to eat (and chocolate...); I have talent; I have intelligence; I have a spell checker; I have a good sense of humour; I have a car; I have a horse (see next resolution); I have two wonderfully silly dogs; I have two great cats; I have a wonderful mother; I have enough money to save for two modest one week vacations a year; I have warm clothes; I have an Internet connection; I have an endless supply of tea; I have a Tim Horton's within walking distance; I do not have any life altering allergies.

That's enough for now, I don't want to become too thankful!

I resolve to spend time every month with the first love of my life, SX Geminis Adonis. My wonderful Arabian gelding. Donny. I bought Donny at the tender age of 19 (my tender age, not his. He was but a wild, naughty yearling when I bought him). I have had him for 19 years. Almost to the day. And I have not seen him for the last year of that. It makes me sick with longing. I miss him, every freakin day I miss him. THIS is one of the things that I am so very much not thankful to my business for. It has run me too many years, it has run me into the ground so that I spend my weekends crashed on the couch not doing the things I love, like riding my horse...nice segue into the next resolution if I do say so myself....

I resolve to start running my business, not letting it run me. I resolve to book my days so that I can enjoy the time that I am not at work, and not spend the time nursing my aching body to prepare it, just in time, to start again on Monday...of course, since next year's book is almost full, it may be too late for THAT resolution, but I am going to give it the old college try.

I resolve to stop when I am tired. So I will give myself an easy out here, and leave more resolutions open for the next entry, thus killing two resolutions with one stone :) (note to self: shortcuts/crossovers/easyway out are ok)

So, until my next entry, of more resolutions,

In harmony

IrishRed